Monday, September 10, 2007


Breakups….people who are or were in a relationship may know well about it. Only a lucky few may never know about this. I am pretty well accustomed to it. Till now I have had about 6 or 7 breakups, 5 of them with the same girl!!!!

So why do couples breakup?? Some of the reasons are:

  1. One of the couple finds the other one cheating.

  2. They don’t get ample time to spend with each other.

  3. One of them notices a repelling behavior in the other of late.

  4. Pressure from parents, relatives and friends.

  5. One of them finds a new boy/girl more interesting than the present one!!!

  6. Just like that!!!

So after my latest and may be my final breakup, I started thinking. Breakups can be avoided if you think well before deciding to commit. Of course you would be choosing the right girl/boy, who is 100% compatible with you. But there are some other factors that you should take into consideration.

  1. First and foremost, the society.

Our society is still very immature. They still cannot accept an inter-religion or inter-caste marriage, though the latter is slowly getting accepted. Inter-religion marriage are still taboo. Come on grow up guys, the people who are in the relation would have already talked about this and are perfectly compatible with the difference in their faiths. They are not kindergarten kids whom you have to sit on top and preach. I have seen a lot of couples having different faiths but living their life in perfect harmony. The one “big question” the so called society asks these couples is “What about the kids, on what religion will you bring them up?” My solution is, don’t bring up the kids in any one particular religion. Teach the best of both the religions, when they grow up they will be able to choose the path that they want to. Show them the paths; never force them to choose the one you want. But for those people out there, who do not want to anger the society, choose a partner who is of the same religion and caste as you. But then, what is the difference between a love marriage and an arranged one. Love should be spontaneous. It should not be restricted within the realms of castes and religions.


  1. Choose a partner who is strong

The person whom you have chosen may be good, but he/she should be strong enough to face the rough winds until your relationship is accepted by the elders. A lot of people will suddenly appear out of thin air to advice you about the grave mistakes that you are about to do by continuing the relationship. These people will be very intelligent and cunning. They will find out your weak points and apply maximum pressure at those areas. Emotional blackmail is the term for it. The most common pressure points are parents, close relations and faith. Some of the most common dialogues are like “Your father had a heart attack just a few months ago, if he comes to know about this he will have one last fatal one. You can decide whether to kill your father or save his life by leaving that girl.”, “That boy is of a different religion, god will never accept this. He will make you and your parents suffer for disobeying him, he will send fire balls down to earth to destroy you.” An ideal partner should be brave and emotionally prepared to face such crap from people around them. If they show signs of cowardice and indecisiveness, back off at the earliest. They will never be there to support you when you need them most.


  1. Talk

Make sure that you talk about everything and have come to an agreement on almost all aspects. There should not be any lingering doubts or indecisiveness. You should be well prepared with answers for the questions that the elders ask. Most of the couples do not put a conscious effort in meaningful talking. Only when we talk can we find out about our differences, our views of life and where we stand. This can help you to present your case confidently and firmly to the elders later.


Heart burns and heart breaks are never easy. We feel like the whole world is collapsing on us. During these testing times it is better to channel our attention to other activities like work, sports or arts. There is no use hitting the bottle and going into depression. It can only do you more harm. They can never heal the wounds. Remember there is no better healer than Time.


(P.S. Sorry if you find this post too preachy. Just trying to give variety )

15 comments:

Anush said...

intha post-ae un kaala ninaichu kumbudraen thalae... [:)]

Day Dreamer said...

Paathu kumbidunga thala.. kaalam romba kettu poy kidakku ;-)

vicky said...

in my case, only that the break up comes a little early...the moment i propose;-))donno, if your same conditions apply...these topics are better left alone..what say!

Gomathy S said...

Very expressive post..:)

Day Dreamer said...

In ur case its not a break up vicky... breakup is when people have a relationship and then part ways.. ur lucky by the way..the pain is a little less :-)

Day Dreamer said...

Thanks Scribbler :-)

Anonymous said...

Sincere efforts to be a good preacher!
Experience...Guru???

Gomathy S said...

Tagged
u again

Day Dreamer said...

of course it is experience Pars... I have mentioned it clearly in the post :-)

yetanother.softwarejunk said...

"5 of them with the same girl!!!!"

Man!! and given 6 reasons ;-)

Day Dreamer said...

Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction Joju ;-)

Zee said...

break ups suck.....period. no matter how much u try and avoid the pain if it has to happen it has to happen........

Day Dreamer said...

yes zee how ever normal we try to be it really hurts a lot :-(

Sirpy said...

Amazing post.. Especially in South India, the guys are too conservative.. And the worst part is that, they take pride in being so..!! Ppl in the North hardly seem to have a problem with stuff like that..

Gomathy S said...

Tagged u.. wake up :)